MEMO TO ALL DELEGATES AT AND BELOW LEVEL OF CEO/MD AND PTO (excluding Grade 1)

Policy Revision – Committee report from Paris - Schneider -Tayleur
(sitting as the cooperative committee of analogous differentials)

1. [First amendment made 2/1/2006] -  The following procedural statement was issued at a meeting of the Trans-European Interaction Procedural Committee and sets out the following recommendations:

‘The best procedural policy recommendation we can recommend at this time is to ensure that all recommended policy procedures are strictly adhered to.  This will ensure that all procedure is in place before any changes to the policy can be recommended or instigated. However the addition of strong dark coffee laced with cognac has been proved to improve all factors involved in this recommendation. ’

1.  [Second amendment] – the following statement was issued at a follow-up meeting of the following group – the Pan-European Intermingling & Enhanced Social Interaction  Society – possibly also Heisenberg’s uncertainty principal Task Force – at the time of writing the author is currently unsure about that:

‘The obvious disparity between the opposite contradictory contenders, as exemplified by the difference between the opposing and polar opposite (i.e. the non-polar opposite being known from here on in as ‘the same’) has indicated that opposites exert an attracting factorization and influence upon other factors of the same opposition, (please note -  the use of the  word ‘same’ used here is not the same as the ‘same’ as defined above, neither is the ‘same’ the same as the ‘same’ used in the middle of that sentence). However this has not been proved empirically beyond all doubt.  and consequently if the lady factor believes the man factor is worth chatting up, whether or not opposites attract, she should indeed, go for it’.

1. [Third amendment] – This amendment applies to the two previous amendments, and makes the following recommendations (please note - these are not amendments to the amendments, nor amendments to the recommendations, they are merely recommendations for amendments):

 Life should include a great deal of pleasure - both the giving and the receiving of. Make a conscious effort to ignore life’s minor disasters and save your tears and fears for the real big ones. Find something amazing in every day and the secret to being happy is very simple – just be happy.

We hope you enjoyed reading this and that your boss was suitably impressed by your industry, dedication and diligence.